I made the big reveal on instagram a couple of weeks ago that I went back to the "creamy crack." Honestly, I've wanted to get a relaxer for a while (maybe a year?)...but I didn't want to feel like a failure, or as if I was doing it out of self-hate. Eventually, I reminded myself that it was only hair, an accessory that I can style anyway that I please.
Lately I've been so over the lengthy process of washing, styling, twisting/braiding every night. I've attempted using wigs, weaves, and twist extensions to give myself a styling break, but with all of those it was too easy for me to neglect the health of my hair, and but when I took the styles out I still didn't have the energy to care for my hair and give it the gentle styling it needed to keep fairy knots and tangles at bay. For my lifestyle, it is easier for me to manage and maintain the health of relaxed hair.
Before I started my natural hair journey, I was on a healthy hair journey with stretched relaxers and minimal heat so I didn't go into my natural journey with any relaxer horror stories or attempts to "fix" any damage. One of the main reasons I decided to go natural was so my naturally thin and fine hair could be thicker. However, I realized that I can't change hereditary, so while my hair was thicker-looking due to frizz/poofiness, my fine strands and thin density affected the way styles liked braid/twist outs looked, and caused so much unpredictability when styling my hair. Little variables like using a tad too much (or too little) product, sweating in my sleep, setting my hair 30min-1hr later at night, or making twist/braid sections too small could lead to a damp, frizzy, non-uniform mess in the morning. For now, I just want a style that does not require much manipulation on a daily basis yet can create a consistent look each day, and straight hair does just that.
I still love the look of natural hair, I still follow all my favorite natural hair blogs, and I will still rock big curly weaves from time to time. I may even do a big chop in the future for a short blond 'do a la Chrisette Michele. Right now, I'm focusing on growing healthy relaxed hair with a simple routine. Once my life is a little less hectic, I'm looking forward to experimenting with the natural hair styling methods I've done the past 4 years (twist-outs, bantu knots, etc) on my straightened hair. Since I'm re-learning my hair, I will probably be doing more product reviews, style pictures, and an updated regimen once I have one. I'm also getting married in less than 3 months (!) so I will definitely talk wedding hair between now and then!